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Eren asked:


BIRTHDAY JOKES & CHILDREN HUMOR –HILARIOUSLY FUNNY CHILD SATIRE, BABY, TODDLERS HUMOUR

(Based on author’s site www.geocities.com/bdyjks)

It’s quite amazing how humorous a child can be, what satirical even comical situation can arise with kids, in these hilariously funny birthday and children, baby and toddler jokes…

When the little girl returned from her friend’s birthday party, her mother asked if she had thanked the hostess of the party before leaving. “No.” said the little girl, “The person before me did, and my friend’s mother said ‘Don’t mention it’ -so, I didn’t…”

“So, what are we then -boy or girl?” asked one of the baby twins, and “I know how to find out,” said the other and disappeared under the sheets, then reappeared, and declared “I am a boy, and you are a girl.” “O-oh, how clever you are!” exclaimed the girl baby, “How could you tell!?” and boy baby proudly explained, “Oh, it was easy to tell -I am wearing blue booties, and you are wearing pink ones…”

An elderly man asked a young boy if he could see him across the road. The boy crossed the road, stood on the pavement, turned to him and shouted: “Yes.. I can…”

The little girl tossed some pieces of bread to a bird at the zoo, and when the bird looked to her for more, she asked her mother what bird it was. Told that it was a stork, the little girl was so excited: “O-oh.. it must have recognised me!..”

The little boy, came in running and excitedly announced that he had sold the cat for £10,000. “O-o-h…” asked his father, “They paid by cheque?” “No..” replied the boy, ” I got two £5,000 kittens for it…”

“Did you put an ad. in the local paper, about your missing dog..?” asked a boy’s friend. “Don’t be silly..” he said, “My dog can’t read…”

The little girl, before going to bed, said her prayers: “… God, please make bad people good.” She then added: “And good people nice…”

“Yup!” boasted the young boy to her friends: “I jumped on a young girl the other day, lay her down on the ground, pulled up her skirt, tore her stockings off, grabbed hold of her panties.. and tore the elastic out for my catapult!”

“Uncle won’t be arriving today,” announced mum, after she was telephoned the news, “He’s missed the train today and will start at the same time, tomorrow”. “Oh, dear!” remarked the little girl, “He’s going to miss it again then, isn’t he, if he starts at the same time…!?”

An anecdote, about his in childhood rather plump eldest son, of teacher and thinker the late Orhan Seyfi Ari: “Other children grow vertically, mine horizontally!”

“How did you get that black eye!?” exclaimed the little boy’s mother. “You told me good boys don’t fight,” he said, “but one fought back!..”

“You ask so many questions -I can’t know the answers to all of them” exclaimed, rather tired, a parent, “Do you know what might have happened if I had asked my parents as many questions as you do!?” The child thought, then replied “You might’ve known the answers..?”

“Thank you, auntie,” said the little girl as she opened her birthday present, “I always wanted a nice pin cushion.. but not very much…”

The author has a website at: http://www.geocities.com/eoa_uk



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Joel Owens asked:


The adage, “laughter is the best medicine”, proves to be true when it comes to keeping heart attacks at bay. Recent studies conducted at a university in Baltimore show that people who always have a good laugh are less likely to have heart diseases. Further, people with heart diseases are found 40% less probable to laugh and become humorous compared to people to those without heart problems. If this is true, the very elixir that could solve a serious medical condition pertaining to the heart is found the very primordial act of laughing at really funny jokes.

A good belly laugh considered to be a form of exercise. It can serve as an “internal exercise because it provides a good cardiac stimulation and conditioning. This is especially important to those who don’t have the time to exercise or do physical activities. Laughing also prevents hypertension because it lessens the likeliness of stress. It relaxes muscles and lessens the supply of dopamine in he blood, a hormone known to induce the fight or flight response.

Knowing all these, how can you practice the habit of laughing to keep heart attack away? Here are some ways.

1. Think of happy thoughts.

Keeping a light-hearted disposition is crucial in preventing heart attacks. Try to recall the things that you find funny. This may include a hilarious scene on TV, news or an event. Whenever stress starts keeping in, think about these situations can lower your stress and anxiety levels.

2. Engage in a healthy and entertaining conversation with close friends.

Doing this does not only produce some natural laughter, but also helps maintain good mental health. It gives a light feeling and relieves tension.

3. Watch funny movies and TV shows.

This is probably one of the easiest things to do to laugh. Immersing in the hilarity of others’ propensity for funny antics is the ultimate way to turn off sadness and stress. The heart benefits a lot from the laughter you give out.

4. Read some really funny jokes.

Fortunately, there are lots of good sites on the internet that feature jokes and pranks that people can laugh at. When the feeling of heaviness of heart creeps in, don’t wallow in misery. Taking care of the heart through laughing is very important.

5. Relax!

Don’t pretend to have fun, but let laughter come naturally. It is also not advisable to be so serious about life. If there’s a big hindrance on the road, don’t lash out and go berserk. Relax and respond humorously to everyday life’s situation. Think of positive things that could still induce some laughter amidst a stressful incident. Remember that most of the time, stress is only in the mind.

Nursing loneliness and anguish is the fastest way to a nasty and life-threatening heart attack. Don’t treat your heart like you have another one in the bank in case what you have fails to beat. Nurture a happy disposition, laugh at really funny jokes, and smile to ensure a healthy heart.



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